I am in an old gold mining town in northern California called, Grass Valley - roughly 70 miles north of Sacramento. The first half of the day, I sit in Starbucks reflecting on Amy’s life, my life and what comes next after this. I spend time writing creatively, journaling, thinking about the next year of my life, five years, ten.. Who knows the future? Not me, but I am so glad I know the One who does.

Amy would be 28 today if she were still here on earth. I couldn’t help but think about what we would be doing if she were still alive today before drifting off to sleep last night. We certainly would not be celebrating. The day would probably be like all the same: laundry, cooking, cleaning, changing her, trying to work my regular job and somewhere in there looking for ten minutes to go upstairs to Steve & JoAnn’s to vent. I’m glad that both Amy and I don’t have to live like this anymore. However, if she were here, I’d still be quite happy to be at home with her.

People have been very opinionated during this time. Some of it helpful, some of it not so much. As I sift through all the emails, I would like to share a few positive (and anonymous) examples of the kinds of things being written:

“Loss is always difficult, even for us as believers, but with the assurance of Heaven we can have peace in the understanding our loved one is enjoying eternity free of pain and the trials of this life. She is having a blast with Jesus and is now a part of that great cloud of witnesses that is cheering you on as you are going about the Father’s business...”

“Amy's pain is finished and she is now face to face with Jesus. I think it is not a coincidence that she was called home on Good Friday and Easter weekend... God's reminder to you of the hope of the resurrection.”

“I prayed on occasion that God would use the marvels of medical technology to bring healing to Amy’s brain. I prayed that God would miraculously intervene and do something that is beyond the understanding of medical science. But in the end I prayed that she would experience the greatest miracle of all… heaven.”

These words were comforting. Others were too, but I liked these ones the best. it’s nice to know there are many out there who keep it real and keep an eternal perspective on things. It’s a hard perspective to maintain, but it gives so much focus to the years we spend on earth.

All of you, my friends, have stood with me during difficult times. Many of you served in helpful ways and even to those of you who did not quite get it right, your love and concern have been duly noted. All I have in my heart to all of you is gratitude. I may never finish answering all the emails, cards and notes that many of you have sent. This is the best place for me to share with you how I feel. Thank you everyone for loving Amy and me.

More to come...

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